The stars are dead- just like your dreams

Does anyone else realize that stars are just big balls of burning gas in space? Yet we waste time dreaming and wishing upon these stars. If you want to get something done, get up off your butt and work for it. Yeah, they're beautiful and make amazing shapes. But other than that, what have they ever done for you that you can't do for yourself? 

I feel like stars just sit up there and look down at us wondering what the heck we're doing. I wonder if they feel bad that they can't do anything for us. I wonder if they even want to help us. I wonder if maybe they're just stuck up snobs who make fun of us for being lazy and putting our trust in them. 

But really, they're just big balls of gas. They don't have feelings and they don't care. They're not alive, and neither are your dreams if all you do is wishing upon a star. That's child's play. This is the real world. Time to grow up. Yep, I finally said it. Grow up. Don't forget about your dreams cause really, anything is possible. But don't expect some star to help you.

This is why I don't make friends

Don't become friends with me expecting me to be your pet.
Don't become friends with me expecting to control me.
Don't become friends with me expecting me to cater to your every need.
Don't become friends with me expecting me to spill all my secrets.
Don't become friends with me expecting me to hate everyone you hate.
To like everyone you like.
Don't become friends with me expecting me to spend every second of everyday with you.

You don't make friends by expecting. You make friends by accepting.

I'm going to Space Camp- not Paris

Space Camp is where the real dreams come true. That's where I'm going when I grow up. Not Paris. Paris is the place we're expected to go. Everyone wants to go to Paris. Everyone wants to be in the norm. So I'm going to go to Space Camp. Space camp is way more fun. People don't judge you there. I could do whatever the heck I wanted to. In paris you're expected to act a certain way. Not Space Camp.

Space Camp is rad. 

Ok, so I don't literally mean that I'm going to Space Camp. (but don't get me wrong, it sounds way cool) Space Camp to me, is a state of mind. It's a state of mind that helps you see the world in a fun, adventurous way. When I grow up, I want to be able to see the world in a way that I can love it. Because right now, it's not lookin' so good. So if someone could help me get to Space Camp, that would be swell. 

(please)

Screw the Internet.

Screw the internet. Screw everything that is taking forever. Screw impatience. Screw the modern world where everything takes like two seconds to load and when it doesn't I get mad.

 I just feel like venting. Screw these computers cause they don't have auto correct and when I vent I type really fast. And mess up. Screw that stupid red squiggly line that tells you that you're spelling the word wrong. Screw the word squiggly. Why the hell is it spelled like that. 

Screw senior year. My classes are all pointless except for this one. Screw teachers who mark you absent even though you were only late so now you have an NC.

Screw the stupid writing prompt for our blogs this week. It's making me angry and stressing me out. an I have no idea what to write about. Yeah, that's right Nelson, I don't like this prompt. At all. Screw space camp.

Maybe it's cause I'm not creative enough. Screw creativity and how people think that creativity has to be a certain way.

Screw anger. Why do I get so angry? Screw emotions. They ruin everything.

Screw everyone and everything.

Letters To The Deceased.

Dear Grandpa,
             I miss you. I miss when you would tickle me. I miss you getting after me for sticking olives on my fingers and eating them. I miss when you would let me sit on your lap and let me "help" you play cards. I miss when you would hug me and playfully bite my ear just to hear me laugh. I miss the way you'd smile at me when I'd play with the toy cars. I miss playing in the garden and you teaching me what was ripe or not. I miss listening to your stories- no matter how long they were. I miss seeing your face light up when I'd make you birthday cards. I miss hearing your sweet voice say "I love you".
             I know that you're my guardian angel now and you're watching over me. I know I've made some dumb choices, but I hope that overall, you're proud of me. I'm sorry I didn't visit you in the hospital more. I make it up by visiting your grave. I wish I had had more time with you and to get to know you better. But even now, by writing this letter, I feel closer to you. I love you, "grampa".

Dear Grandma,
               I'm trying to become the strong, independent woman that you were. If I were as half as strong as you, I could rule the world. I wish I could speak my mind like you did and not be afraid. I feel bad that I was on vacation in Florida when you passed, but I know you didn't want us to cancel our trip. I feel like you were way more proud of my sister than you were of me because she could cook and crochet and do crafts unlike me. And I'm sorry if I didn't live up to your expectations, but I'm trying. Dad tells me that you would be very proud, but I feel like you were and always will be wanting more from me. I hope that changes soon. I love you, grandma. I will forever be your "little rascal". You're always in my heart and I'm always thinking of you and how amazing you were. See you again soon.

Dear (insert close friend here),
               I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't reach out to you like I should have. I'm sorry I asked about your cuts but never did anything to stop you from doing it. I'm sorry I judged you too quickly. I'm sorry I was scared to help you when you were in need. I'm sorry I couldn't stop you from doing what you did. I'm just sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I love you and think about you everyday. You were such a tough girl who went through crap that you didn't deserve. And I'm sorry that doing what you did was the only way to get out of your misery. I hope you're happy and at peace. Love you, girl. You will always have a special place in my heart and will always be an inspiration to me.

Allodoxaphobia.

Fear of what other people think of you. Yes, it is a real fear. And yes, this is my biggest fear. Ya know what, I don't like talking about my fears. I like talking about overcoming my fear. So yes. I'll admit it. I'm afraid of you. All of you. I'm afraid of what you think of me and my writing and my blog and just everything. I'm scared whenever I don't get comments on a post. I'm scared that you all randomly have this hate page of my blog and you just make fun of me. It's totally irrational, I know. That's why I'm working on overcoming it. I just need to remember that it doesn't matter what others think, only what I think. How the hell am I supposed to do that???

Admit it.

"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed they are not it."

We've all googled ourselves at least once in our lives. It's hard to accept the fact that we're all human and we've all got a little bit of selfishness in ourselves. We love it when people comment on our posts, but find it hard or are slow to comment on other's. So just admit it. That's the first step. Don't deny it. The second step is accepting it. You can't help your selfishness if you aren't willing to accept it. I'm not trying to sound mean, or degrading, because selfishness is just a part of life. I'm not going to judge you because you are selfish. I'm going to judge you based on if you act on that selfishness. This is such a random, different post, but really. I kind of just want to give you all a challenge. Every time you do something selfish, do 3 nice things for someone else. It will brighten their day, and just might brighten yours too. It's impossible to be both selfish and happy.

"If you live your life as if everything is about you… you will be left with just that. Just you."

I now have a love for Bricks.

Bricks make Houses.

                                                       Houses turn into Homes.

Homes make Families.

Families make Messes. Fights. Problems. Peace. Laughter. Fun.

Problems and fights make wisdom. Laughter and peace make happiness. 

These experiences make memories. Good and bad. 

Therefore, bricks make memories.    

How To

Hello, I'm here to teach you how to beat Senioritis. 

Step 1: You can't. Don't even try to beat it. There is no escape.

Good Luck! It's going to ruin your life.