#realtalk

Hi. My name is Elizabeth Berrett, and most of you probably didn't know I was even in this class. And no, it is not because I am a tourist. I just like being in the backround and listening to everyone else. Is that a bad thing? You decide.

Let's see. What do Julianna Jane and I have in common? Not a lot, except for the fact that we hate feet and love music. That's about it. She is so much braver than I'll ever be. She's more blunt with her feelings and isn't afraid to say what's on her mind. But I'm learning from her. I've been making friends, getting out of my comfort zone, and taking #risks and asking myself WWJD? (what would Julianna do)

But enough about her. I want to tell you about myself.
I was born in Riverton, Utah and moved to Highland when I was four. I've never moved since. I've told people that I hate living in Utah, but that is the biggest lie. If I lived anywhere else I'd probably be on drugs. So yes, I do love this bubble I live in.

I have the most amazing family in the world. A lot of people think that I don't like my brother because he never calls me. For a while, I hated him and didn't consider him family. But then I realized I was being selfish because he's out serving this country and making it possible for everyone else to have their freedom. I love my brother. I get in too many arguments with my mom. She thinks I don't talk to her much. I don't talk much at home. Ever. She thinks I have some sort of depression and that any day I could take my life. Honestly, I don't talk to her because I'm afraid that she'll be dissapointed in what I say. But I do love her and care about her, I just don't know how to say it.

I got my arm pulled out of my socket when I was one, I broke my arm when I was two, I had to get stitches in the second grade because I fell, I broke my pinky in the seventh grade because I ran in the railing, I sprained my ankle in ninth grade and I hyperextended my knee last summer. My life is full of mistakes and accidents.

I am really bipolar when it comes to people. I will either love you, or be terrified of you. There is no in between. I am honestly the most awkward person you will ever meet. I really do love meeting new people, but when it happens I get shakey, my face turns red way too often, and I accidently say really stupid things. And then I remember it for the rest of my life.

I really don't think anyone will even care about this post, but it feels good to let people know why I do certain things and who I actually am.

I Remember

I remember my first crush. It was in kindergarten and he had red hair. I remember my second grade crush. I thought I was in love with him and that we were going to get married. I remember the day he said that my hair looked weird and then he threw play-dough at my face. I remember my first boyfriend. That lasted for a day. Relationships aren't meant for first graders. Well that's what I told myself when he broke my heart.

I remember recess. Playing tag and thinking I was so cool because I was hanging out with the popular boys. I remember my best friend. I remember the day I fell and had to get stitches. She was right by my side the whole time. I remember the day we had to go to a new school and she moved. It was so hard to make friends with out her. I remember we would try to see each other as often as possible. I remember when we started to grow apart. I remember the day we stopped talking. I still regret not texting her back, but I'm scared to text her now because it might be awkward.

I remember trying to fit in when I was in middle school. I remember ninth grade and the hell I went through everyday because of the rude things everyone would say to me. They thought it was ok and wasn't hurting me at all. It was. I remember valentines day when I got that note in my locker. You could tell it was written by a girl who wrote it with her left hand pretending to be a guy.  I remember the hurtful things it said. Telling me to stop talking so much and to actually wear makeup. I remember the day I started to wear makeup and stopped talking.

I remember starting high school terrified of everyone because I thought they were all secretly making fun of me. I remember hating everyone. I remember actually caring what everyone thought of me. I remember being miserable. I remember the day I became friends with that one person. They reached out to me. They changed my life forever. I remember realizing that there were people who cared about me.  That was the day I was finally happy again.

More Ranting.

Hi there, my name is Liz, and something you might not know about me:

I'm not an idiot.

I just felt like telling everyone that because I feel like not enough people know this about me. So hello world here's a shocker, I'm not an idiot. I can tell when you're lying to me, I can tell that something is up and you're trying to hide it. Don't think for a second that I am this stupid, naive girl who has know idea what is going on. News flash: I do. I'm not an idiot. I can tell when you pretend not to see me. I know what a fake smile looks like because you give one to me all the time. (trust me, I am the master of fake smiles) But I only use mine when I don't like a person. You use your's when you tell me "Yeah, everything's alright." Ok hello buddy, need I remind you, I'm not an idiot. I know something is up so just tell me now before we create anymore useless drama and I get even more pissed off.

Ok, I know I seem easy going on the outside, but don't take that for granted. I am not going to let you lie to and manipulate me. Because when I seem all easy going, deep down inside my mind is racing at a hundred miles an hour trying to analize every single thing you tell me. So stop trying to feed me these lies because darling, I am not hungry anymore. I've had enough of your servings and I finally hope you see that I'm not an idiot.